Director Fred

I'm going to cut and paste text to protect the innocent(?).

So, my boss (um ... let's call him 'Steve') sends me this email from an IT director outside of the corporate office (let's call him ‘Fred'):

Daniel, would you call Fred and answer his questions? Thanks..

________________________________________

From: Director Fred
Sent: Monday, January 24, 2005 6:23 AM
To: Jones Steve
Subject: FW: Assistance with Dev Tools

Steve,

Do you have any direction on the production of operational documentation and any standards or forms that are available in regard to the Corporate setting today. As well as any information on how and when the operational documentation is produced in the project. I was not able to find a reference in Dev Tools that answered this fully.

Please advise, Thanks

Director Fred
Group Director of Information Services
Someplace

What does that mean? Does the guy speak English on a regular basis? I had to read this out loud to myself just to try to get a handle on what he was trying to say. This man is a director and barely has a working command of English grammar. The very next email in my inbox was another one from the same dude:

Here's another one
________________________________________

From:
Director Fred
Sent: Monday, January 24, 2005 12:33 PM
To: Jones Steve
Subject: Enterprise Software

Steve,

In regard to enterprise software where functionality is spread across multiple servers and operates in concert rather than server centric software where all of the processing resides on a single machine, are there any special considerations you have made in similar software for Corporate to accommodate the needs of real time scanning for anti-virus software and for backups by external vendor software? Would you have a moment to discuss with me?

Please advise. Thanks

Director Fred
Group Director of Information Services
Someplace

Holy cow!!! We gotta get this guy and Don in a room together. They could talk for hours without actually making a valid point. This is impressive. So, right about the time I decide to start composing this, Steve walks by to get his hourly handful of seeds (half of which usually end up on my floor). I tell him that I got a chuckle out of the emails he forwarded me. His first reply is that it sounds like he just cut and pasted headlines from a magazine into an email and shot it off. Then, he looks at me seriously and says, "Be careful how you respond to him. He can kind of be a snake in the grass. Measure your words carefully."

Well that's great. Here I go. I'm gonna call Fred now. What do I say to him? "Hi Mr. Fred. I'm calling on behalf of Steve Jones, who doesn't want to talk to you. I'd like to try to answer some of your questions. Let's start with this; what the hell are you saying?"