NFL

Of the thousands of reasons why I love the NFL, here's another one that just occurred to me. I didn't miss it at all today. I have enjoyed this 'bye week' and look forward to months more of them. The season starts and ends at exactly the right time. It starts right when I am about to gnaw open my own arm with anticipation and ends right about the time I am sick of looking at a TV screen. Perfect.

Man peed way out of avalanche

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1261997.html?menu

A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it.

Rescue teams found Richard Kral drunk and staggering along a mountain path four days after his Audi car was buried in the Slovak Tatra mountains.

[Fat, ugly teen] Sentenced for Releasing Computer Worm

Link Here


OK. So, I'm a computer programmer and maybe I side with this kid too much. But I just don't think these lawyers really understand the severity (or, rather, lack thereof) of this kid's actions.

"...that crippled 48,000 computers in 2003"

is this a lot? this kid didn't manually go out and screw up these computers. The whole intent of his program was to propagate itself across the Internet. (we / they)'re lucky it didn't affect millions of computers.

"He had faced up to 10 years in prison ..."

So ... murder, these days, gets you ... what? ... 5-10 years? a COMPUTER VIRUS gets you 10!?! Apparently, the loss of life is bad, but the loss of data files, well, that's just intolerable. WTF!?!?!?!?!

"(The Internet) has created a dark hole, a dungeon if you will, for people who have mental illnesses or people who are lonely," U.S. District Judge Marsha Pechman said.

Has this judge ever used a computer? Does she know what the Internet is? She talks about it like it is some physical place.

"Excuse me. Could you direct me to the Internet?"
"The Internet? Yes, your honor. It's a couple of miles south of Mordor in Middle Earth."
"Is that before or after the Land of Oz?"
"Before, your honor. It's between Morder and Oz."
"Oh. Thank you very much."
"Yes your honor."

"...saying his neglectful parents were to blame for the psychological troubles that led to his actions ..."

Holy Cow! Talk about criminal! This judge needs to be locked up for that statement. It really should be a crime ... a felony ... to use such ridiculous, irresponsible language. "It's not my fault, the devil made me do it." So, if his mommy didn't breast feed him equally from the right one and the left one then that's a license to get a machine gun and mow down a shopping mall?

"Hey, you created me, I didn't create some loser alter ego to make myself feel better, take some responsibility."
- Tyler Durden

"... against a Microsoft Windows update Web site as well as personal computers. ... crippled networks worldwide."

Ok. I am a Microsoft bigot. In my humble opinion, they are the top software company in the world for a very simple reason; they make the best software in the world. I get soooo tired of listening to MS bashers gripe about it. 99% of them can have their gripes boiled down to the simple fact that they do not understand how to use the software appropriately. The other 1% are just hippies that want look "cool", "rebellious", or "intellectual" by preferring inferior software. They're the same kind of people that shun elements of popular culture simply because it is part of popular culture, not for any valid reason. Go feed a starving whale and STFU. Or better yet QUIT USING IT!!! If it sucks so bad SWITCH! When you say that to them, what do they say? "Well ... " they whine, "None of my programs work on other software." OK!!! If MS is bad, then that's still better than one that doesn't work at all.

... anyway, I digress. Back on topic. Who deserves most of the blame here? The kid deserves blame because he wrote the virus. But these lawyers do not understand how ridiculously simple it is to write them to an operating system so replete with security vulnerabilities. Microsoft deserves some of the blame for that. But, really, the users deserve some blame. If memory serves, Microsoft released a fix to this vulnerability months before this kid released the virus. In fact, wasn't the kid inspired to write the virus by reading about the fix?

So, the analogy goes something like this: I just bought a house (Windows) in a rough part of town (the Internet). I bought this house from a shmoe (Microsoft) who never put locks on any of his doors. the police (hackers, anti-virus companies) come by and tell me that my house is not safe without locks on the doors. The fact that they stopped at my house sort-of telegraphs to the rest of the neighborhood that I don't have locks. The shmoe offers to come back and put locks on all my doors for free. I decline the offer. A few days later a fat, lazy punk kid comes by and takes all my crap. The kid broke the law. The shmoe was a retard for not putting locks on the doors. But I am the biggest moron for not fixing the problem.

I guess I can extend that analogy and say that I am not going to jail if the kid steals my stuff. But, then, should I get a complete check from my insurance company if I didn't make a reasonable effort to secure my house?

Britney's kid sis

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6881646/

"still kidlike and disarmingly polite at 13"
Must ... resist ... dirty ... thoughts.

Japanese Cat Torture

Check this out:

http://www.petoffice.co.jp/takuhai/ippan/catprin/test.htm

To me, the funny part is how pi$$ed off
the cats look. But, you wouldn't know that if you didn't have cats.

I think this one is my favorite:


It looks so humiliated.

MSNBC - Heisman winner Crouch signs with Chiefs

MSNBC - Heisman winner Crouch signs with Chiefs

1. So ... he signs with the Rams, but leaves because he isn't getting his way. Then, the next year, he signs with the Packers but leaves because he isn't getting his way. THEN he signs with the Chefs ...


2. Has this guy ever PLAYED defense!?! I think it's great that we are recruiting defensive players. I think it would be greater if we were recruiting defensive players that have played defense

Director Fred

I'm going to cut and paste text to protect the innocent(?).

So, my boss (um ... let's call him 'Steve') sends me this email from an IT director outside of the corporate office (let's call him ‘Fred'):

Daniel, would you call Fred and answer his questions? Thanks..

________________________________________

From: Director Fred
Sent: Monday, January 24, 2005 6:23 AM
To: Jones Steve
Subject: FW: Assistance with Dev Tools

Steve,

Do you have any direction on the production of operational documentation and any standards or forms that are available in regard to the Corporate setting today. As well as any information on how and when the operational documentation is produced in the project. I was not able to find a reference in Dev Tools that answered this fully.

Please advise, Thanks

Director Fred
Group Director of Information Services
Someplace

What does that mean? Does the guy speak English on a regular basis? I had to read this out loud to myself just to try to get a handle on what he was trying to say. This man is a director and barely has a working command of English grammar. The very next email in my inbox was another one from the same dude:

Here's another one
________________________________________

From:
Director Fred
Sent: Monday, January 24, 2005 12:33 PM
To: Jones Steve
Subject: Enterprise Software

Steve,

In regard to enterprise software where functionality is spread across multiple servers and operates in concert rather than server centric software where all of the processing resides on a single machine, are there any special considerations you have made in similar software for Corporate to accommodate the needs of real time scanning for anti-virus software and for backups by external vendor software? Would you have a moment to discuss with me?

Please advise. Thanks

Director Fred
Group Director of Information Services
Someplace

Holy cow!!! We gotta get this guy and Don in a room together. They could talk for hours without actually making a valid point. This is impressive. So, right about the time I decide to start composing this, Steve walks by to get his hourly handful of seeds (half of which usually end up on my floor). I tell him that I got a chuckle out of the emails he forwarded me. His first reply is that it sounds like he just cut and pasted headlines from a magazine into an email and shot it off. Then, he looks at me seriously and says, "Be careful how you respond to him. He can kind of be a snake in the grass. Measure your words carefully."

Well that's great. Here I go. I'm gonna call Fred now. What do I say to him? "Hi Mr. Fred. I'm calling on behalf of Steve Jones, who doesn't want to talk to you. I'd like to try to answer some of your questions. Let's start with this; what the hell are you saying?"

ROBERT GRAZER'S 100 FAVORITE ALBUM COVERS

Pennington's thing about "You Can Tune a Piano, But You Can't Tuna Fish" made me Google it. I stumbled across this interesting read:
http://www.geocities.com/mjareviews/covers.html

My favorites:

60. Smog - Dongs of Sevotion - Sort of like the above Chemical Brothers cover taken up a degree. I mean, who on earth does Bill Callahan think he is? In all seriousness, this being Smog (and one I am unfamiliar with) the music is most likely far less bombastic than the cover might suggest. Actually, it looks like it might be a fitting ELP cover.

56. Cream - Disraeli Gears - Simply the ultimate psychedelic cover, I don't think anyone will dispute that. (dan says: AMEN)


35. Jefferson Airplane - Bless Its Pointed Little Head - Another thanks to Fredrik Tydal (see his comments on it below) for this, one of the funniest covers I have ever seen

Lost Frenchman survives 35 days on wood, clay

I can't even count all the different ways I want to comment on this:
http://www.newsletters.newsweek.msnbc.com/id/6858012/

48-year-old described as 'weak' after ordeal in southern France

OK. First off, aren't all frenchmen 'weak'? Why is this newsworthy?

Jean-Luc Josuat-Verges, 48, told French newspapers he had gone to the deserted caves at Madiran in the Pyrenees in December seeking isolation during a spell of depression which had left him considering suicide.

1. Wouldn't it be embarrassing if 'Jean-Luc' and 'Michelle' were the manliest names you can come up with?


2. If he went to the caves to go kill himself, why did go to such great lengths (eating clay) to save his own life?


3. If he had a spine at all, he'd shoot himself. But we all know the french inability to handle weapons. Is this how your typical frog kills himself? Wandering around until he collapses of starvation? Useless people.

His abandoned car was found 35 days later by three children who were not at school because their teachers were on strike.

french authorities are unable to contain the thousands of 'rabid' children running amok across the french countryside. Commented one police officer, "Despite the fact that they are half my size and unarmed, I am terrified of them. They might bite me or make fun of me."

Firefox trick

So ... I read an article about Firefox (http://www.mozilla.org/products/firefox/) and had my interest piqued when the article made a very good point that since the 'browser wars' ended, MS hasn't really innovated much with IE. I agree. So I got on the bandwagon and downloaded Firefox and have been trying to use it instead of IE. I really like it.

Now, that having been said, one of my reasons for starting this blog in the first place was to have a convenient place to put quick little helpers that I find. So here is one I just stumbled across. You may or may not already be aware that in IE you type a particular domain name in the address bar and then hit [CONTROL] + [ENTER] to fill in the "http://www." prefix and ".com" suffix. So, for instance, you can type google and then hit [CONTROL] + [ENTER] and the browser will fill the address out as http://www.google.com/ and begin the download.

So here's where this applies to Firefox. Firefox can do that too, BUT it can also do another handy-dandy one. It can also do ".org" with [SHIFT] + [CONTROL] + [ENTER]. Oooooooh! So, for instance, if you type mozilla and then hit [SHIFT] + [CONTROL] + [ENTER], it will take you to http://www.mozilla.org/. Nice.

I just happened to fat finger a request and found that one. I'll betcha there's more than just this one.

Visual Studio: Visual Studio Extensibility Center

Visual Studio: Visual Studio Extensibility Center

The Matrix

First, watch this:
http://www.adcritic.com/interactive/view.php?id=5927


Did you click on the Take Action link? If you thought the video was a hoot, the link is hee-larious. Leave it to the ACLU to come up with this crap.

http://www.aclu.org/Privacy/Privacy.cfm?ID=16021&c=39

Watch out!!! The government is creating a program called the Matrix to take over your life. I also hear it is being developed by aliens at Area 51. Once they get the Government ID chip implanted in your forehead (like mine) you can’t even get unplugged. You really need to correspond with your representative. I did, I said, "Dr. Frist! Help me! I don’t want to be like Neo! I want to take the blue pill!!!"

SMTP through telnet

telnet
open smptserver.domain 25
HELO fred.com
MAIL FROM:fred@fred.com
RCPT TO:joe@joe.com

Data

freddy

.

quit

quit

Eddlemanism

Eddlemanism - To replace commonly understood, well documented terminology or technical metaphor with obscure or undescriptive terminology for no other apparent reason or value than for the enjoyment of the changer of the word. For example, replacing the word 'folder' with the word 'context', or 'library' with 'facility'. Thus replacing the easy exchange of ideas and gaining of understanding with an endless repetition of the following conversation:

"What is a context?"
"It's a folder."
"Oh. Why don't we just call it a folder?"
"Because _______ said so."
"Ah! Gotcha."

Worms

Why do worms crawl out onto the concrete when it rains? Do you think they say,

"That sidewalk must be pretty cool. Jimmy went out there last week and he never came back."

CBS fires 4 for roles in Bush Guard story

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6807825/

The investigators reported that a "myopic zeal" to break the story about Bush’s National Guard service was a key factor in explaining why CBS News had produced a story that was neither fair nor accurate and did not meet the organization’s internal standards.
The investigators also said CBS News had compounded that failure with "rigid and blind" defense of the report, which aired on the "60 Minutes Wednesday" news magazine.

CBS News is incredible. Not that it is unbelievable that a news organization is biased. Rather (pun intended), they are not a credible news source. Outrageous!

I was just looking for a good definition for 1-3 normal form. These do pretty well.

A relation is in 1NF if and only if all underlying domains contain atomic values only.
http://www.cs.jcu.edu.au/Subjects/cp1500/1998/Lecture_Notes/normalisation/1nf.html


A relation is in 2NF if it is in 1NF and every non-key attribute is fully dependent on each candidate key of the relation.
http://www.cs.jcu.edu.au/Subjects/cp1500/1998/Lecture_Notes/normalisation/2nf.html


A relation R is in third normal form if it is in 2NF and every non-key attribute of R is non-transitively dependent on each candidate key of R.
http://www.cs.jcu.edu.au/Subjects/cp1500/1998/Lecture_Notes/normalisation/3nf.html

F1st

I've been meaning to put one of these up forever. The first item is not exactly the reason for the blog. I intend this to be the simplest use of the tool. It's whatever comes to mind to put up here.
so, here goes.